He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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