I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
