The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
