Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
