The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It all started with a game of naked twister.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize