i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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