remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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