I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
