I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
