Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
