I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize