I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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