R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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