Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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