If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
