ADVERTISEMENT

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?

  Fav 11 1973 939

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

  Fav 11 5207 1805

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.

  Fav 8 3279 1144

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night

  Fav 30 2681 1605

  share tweet
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!

  Fav 9 1843 813

  share tweet
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

  Fav 2 1092 812

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back

  Fav 2 1510 709

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits

  Fav 4 1357 616

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.

  Fav 3 748 521

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.

  Fav 0 671 390

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now

  (1-224): View more from Illinois

  It's five in the morning. wtf?

  Fav 1 506 528

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.

  Fav 1 40 3

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.

  Fav 0 11 29

  share tweet
  

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face

  Fav 0 91 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye

  Fav 0 51 10

  share tweet
  

Randomize