Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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