Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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