I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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