I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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