Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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