does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize