he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
