Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
