I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
