They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My life is pants optional.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
