You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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