Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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