this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
