I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
