there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
