omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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