laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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