I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
