I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
