Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
