Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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