CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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