8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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