he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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