So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
