I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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