she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
