Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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