Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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