Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
