Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
