I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
