One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sobbing to NWA
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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