thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize