You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
