Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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