and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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