Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
