You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
