your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
