3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
