Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
